TRANSFORMING YOUR WORLD

Greetings Saints,
Imagine, statistics tell us that a woman is abused in the U.S. every nine seconds. Incredible and horrifying. Domestic violence where men are the perpetrators is certainly not the only form of abuse but is the most common. Men who have no sense of what manhood really is will seek to dominate, control, rape, verbally, emotionally and physically abuse. They may believe they have a right to abuse, they may have anger management issues, they may have been victims of abuse early in life or have other reasons for the abuse. NONE of the reasons are acceptable. A man who is emotionally weak finds a false sense of manhood by the way he dominates someone else. What are some tools used to dominate and control? Here are a few:

• INTIMIDATION - Making your partner feel afraid by using threatening looks, actions and gestures. Smashing things when angry. Destroying her property. Abusing pets or showing weapons.
• EMOTIONAL ABUSE - Calling her names. Humiliating her. Making her feel like everything is her fault. Always accusing her and making her feel bad about herself. Constant put-downs.
• ISOLATION - Controlling where she goes, who she talks to, embarrassing her in front of other people, even friends. Limiting her contact with other people.
• BLAMING & MINIMIZING - Saying she pushed him to the abuse. Claiming the abuse wasn't that bad. Claiming not to remember because he was drunk.
• CLAIMING "MALE PRIVILEGE" - Using rigid definitions about his/her roles in the relationship. Treating her like a servant or his property. Making all the big decisions without her input.
• USING THE KIDS - Threatening to take the kids away from her. Telling her how terrible of a mother she is when she is really a good mom. Talking bad about her to the kids.
• ECONOMIC ABUSE - Making her ask for money because she can't have her own. Preventing her from getting a job or always causing problems for her on the job. Deliberately making her late for work until she gets fired. Taking her money. Not letting her know or have access to family income.
• USING THREATS & COERCION - Threatening to, or carrying out a threat to hurt her. Making her do illegal things like selling drugs, write bad checks or prostitution. Threatening to leave her. Claiming he will kill himself and it will be her fault.
• SEXUAL ABUSE - (One of the most common and most humiliating forms of abuse) - Forced to have sex against your will. Constantly being harassed for sex. Forced anal and/or oral sex. Made to video sex acts. Made to watch pornography. Forced to do things that are painful or dangerous. Forced to expose yourself. Forced to expose yourself in semi-public places. Forced into group sex, same sex, or wife swapping. Forced to have sex after a physical attack to "make-up." Being referred to in sexually derogatory ways. Having to listen to details of his sexual encounters with other women.

These are but a few ways in which abuse takes place. Most abuse goes unreported. Often it is not reported because of fear of further and more severe attacks. Other reasons include fear of not being able to financially make it without him, or being in love with him and believing he will change. Certainly there are many other reasons. ABUSE IN ANY FORM BY ANYBODY IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE. It violates every principle of God for human relationships. If you are currently a victim get help. There are centers in nearly every community to get help. Love yourself enough to not stay in that relationship. God will show you a way out. If abuse is in your past but you still struggle with the emotional pain, get in touch with a counselor. Many such services are free. If you are the abuser, God loves you and desires that you be delivered from the reasons why you abuse. Be a man and get some help. Remember, do unto others as you would have them do unto you!

This coming weekend the Transforming Women in Christ ministry of Transformation Ministries International of Atlanta is sponsoring the first of many "Let's Talk" Women's Forums. This forum is on Women & Domestic Violence. Special guest will be Linda Kirkpatrick, Executive Director of Community Welcome House. The forum will be held February 21 at 1:00pm at the Special Events Center in Newnan GA located at 299 Bullsboro Dr. 30263. For registration or more information call 678-767-4544 or email your inquiries to twic@ymail.com. For information about future "Let's Talk" Women's Forums you can visit our ministry's website at: http://www.tmiministries.org/. If you are not able to come and you or someone you know needs help, check in your local area for organizations that can help. Do it today. Your best life is ahead of you, go get it! God bless you all.